Messy Mud Puddles: Learning to Love the Mess and Worry Less
Messy Mud Puddles
Lacing up new hiking books.
Ready to break them in.
Heading out the door; intention set.
Stomp, splash and have fun.
Play with my precious little girl,
the one living deep inside.
Time to be a child again,
messy and care free.
We seek out every puddle,
feel the squishiness of the mud.
No worries about the messiness.
No thoughts of right or wrong.
Lost in our own little world,
filled with glorious play and fun.
Aw - but then it happens,
just as it always does.
Slowly or quickly,
I’m not sure.
I’m zigging and zagging around each puddle;
avoiding all the mud.
Lost in thoughts and worries
of my grown-up world.
I have lost touch with her,
the precious little one inside.
Avoiding the mess.
Forgetting the fun.
I chuckle to myself,
as I invite her back out to play.
She is smiling up at me,
ready to begin again.
So off we go, hand and hand,
for more frolicking and fun.
-Lisa Irwin
Learning to play…
For most of my life I thought my worth came from how hard I worked and what I could produce. Playing was only allowed after all work was done. But there is one big problem with this…
The work is never done!
So what happened if I tried to play?
I felt guilty when I played before my work was done.
I was afraid of being judged as being a slacker or lazy.
I was afraid that someone would “catch me” having fun before my work was done.
I felt shame because I couldn’t truly relax and just have fun like other people.
But how could I relax and have fun if my worth was tied up in how hard I worked? It was impossible because my worth came from outside of me and what others thought.
One of the biggest things I have learned on my own journey is…
I will never be truly happy if I look to others for proof of my worth.
I’m not going to lie…it took a lot of work to get to that place but the freedom from the prison of fear, shame and guilt is AMAZING!
One of the challenging things my own life coach invited me try was to play before I worked in the morning. EEK! What will people think?
But do you know what really struck me? I didn’t even know how to play. What will I do every morning? I had no idea what I liked to do that was just for me and had no end goal except to just have fun!
I had spent so much time caring for and supporting everyone else and doing what I thought they wanted to do that, at the age of 50, I had no idea what I enjoyed doing.
To be honest, I still struggle with this but these are some of the things I have discovered that I like doing just for the joy of it: paint, puzzles, early morning walks just as the sun is coming up, sitting outside and listening to the birds, buying myself flowers, writing, walking in the woods and binge watching Netflix.
But the thing I love most is connecting deeply with other women in a sisterhood where it’s safe be our messy selves; where we talk about our joys and sorrows and where the conversation doesn’t revolve around our role as someone’s wife, mother, sister or daughter.
We all need support on our journey and there is magic in allowing another woman (or a group of women) to hold a sacred safe space where we can find ourselves, face our fears and learn that we are enough and don’t need to prove our worth to anyone.
Do you let yourself have messy fun? Are there fun things that you love to do that are just for you?
I would love to hear from you; comment below, email me or go to my private Facebook group, Soul connections for Women; a place where women come together to support each other and share their journeys.
Big love,
Lisa
