YOU CARE DEEPLY FOR YOUR FAMILY
You’re a loving kind woman who family and friends often turn to you when they need comfort, support or advise. You’re a wonderful supportive mom and wife, always making sure everyone is happy and successful. Taking care of your family is how you spend most of your time and you’re very good at it.
To the outside world your life looks perfect. You have a beautiful home, you’re a wonderful mom and you’re the supportive wife. But you’re hiding a deep unhappiness in your life and a marriage where you feel small and don’t have a voice.
SOMETHING HAS CHANGED
A life transition, or perhaps living thru the pandemic, has shifted something inside of you and magnified the deep unhappiness you’ve pushed down for years. You’re tired of feeling small and unheard, but you’re also afraid to ask for help because you’ve hidden this part of your life for so long that it’s scary to talk about. You feel hopeless, lost and alone and don’t know what to do next.
YOU’VE BEEN SEARCHING FOR ANSWERS BUT STILL FEEL STUCK
You’ve read so many self-help books with topics ranging from…how to be a better wife and improve your marriage; how to free yourself from your deep unhappiness thru mindfulness and meditation; how to be the strong independent woman you’ve always wanted; how to find your purpose in life. Though they all provided some guidance and insights, you’re still unhappy in your life and can’t seem to find the answers you’re looking for and the help you need.
I GET IT
I know what it’s like to feel hopeless, lost and alone while trying to find the answers on your own. You’re ashamed that for so long you’ve allowed others to make you feel small and that you’re afraid to speak your truth. You feel alone but scared to ask for help because that means talking about a part of your life that you’ve kept hidden for a long time. You feel hopeless because you can’t imagine a life where you feel safe and free to be unapologetically you.
Guided by my intuition and my own experience, in addition to what I learned in my training with The Martha Beck Institute and The Soul’s Calling Academy, I help women learn to listen to, trust and follow their own intuition; the voice deep inside their soul that always knows the way to find and be the women they were always meant to be.
I provide women with the safe compassionate guidance I was looking for when I decided it was time to put my happiness first and be fully and unapologetically me.
I SPENT MY LIFE WORKING HARD TO NOT “ROCK THE BOAT”.
As an intuitive empath I’m highly sensitive to the energy in a room and can feel the emotions of others. So, when I sensed anger in a room or knew that someone was upset, I did one of two things…. I made myself small to avoid causing more waves in the already stormy water or, I calmed the water by doing whatever it took to make and keep everyone happy.
THE CALMER THE WATER THE SAFER I FELT.
The problem was that focusing on everyone else’s happiness meant putting their needs before my own over and over again. I believed that love came from working hard to keep everyone happy by being whatever they needed me to be, especially in my marriage…at least that’s what my head and my programing told me.
MY SOUL KNEW OTHERWISE.
I believe our soul is our essence; it’s who we were at birth, before we were told who to be. It’s that place deep inside that always knows what’s true and right for us.
I also believe our soul communicates with us thru our intuition (often called a gut feeling). Our intuition is the ultimate guide to being the women we were meant to be, before the world and those closest to us told us who to be (our programming).
Our intuition is like our Soul’s Compass; We can choose to follow it or spend our lives led by our fear and what everyone else wants us to be and do.
I GREW UP BELIEVING THAT MY MAIN PURPOSE IN LIFE WAS TO GET MARRIED AND HAVE CHILDREN.
I worked hard at my job, creating a beautiful home and making sure my husband and children were successful and happy. People told me I was good at my job as an amazing supportive wife to my very successful husband and a wonderful mom to my children. Buried under all that hard work as an exhausted unhappy perfectionist.
IF I WAS GOOD AT MY JOB, DOING WHAT I WAS SUPPOSE TO DO, WHY WAS I SO UNHAPPY?
I loved being a stay-at-home mom and caring for my children, but I used the busyness of being a a wife and mom to push down my unhappiness and, more importantly, ignore my intuition…the gut feeling that kept nudging me and saying…you deserve better.
MY LIFE TURNED UPSIDE DOWN.
“I’m divorcing you”. The moment my husband spoke those words my facade of a perfect wife living a perfect life shattered. It felt like I broke into a million pieces.
What I would later come to realize is that those same words that shattered me would also be one of the best things that ever happened to me.
Without the pressure of earning my husband’s love, I began to hear the whispers of my soul and I began to put myself back together with the guidance of my intuition, instead of my programming that told me who to be.
I WAS BEGINNING TO FOLLOW MY SOUL’S COMPASS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE.
Following my intuition wasn’t always easy and it didn’t always guide me on what felt like a linear path. I was guided to do scary things that I never would’ve imagined doing and, even though it didn’t feel like it at the time, I can now see how every single step along the way was the right step for me.
One of those steps happened several months after my husband had spoken those words that shattered me, and he asked to try and reconcile our marriage.
I SAID YES DESPITE MY INTUITION SAYING NO.
But, by that time, I’d already started my journey of healing and self discovery and I couldn’t go back to the women I’d been before. I’d already started to put myself together and find my true authentic self…the woman buried under all the layers of programming that told me who I should be.
I’d also I found my purpose in life as a life coach and I knew, without a doubt, that this was the thing I was meant to do with my life. I loved coaching and I was stronger, more confident and happier than I’d ever been.
BUT THINGS CHANGED WHEN I STEPPED OUT OF MY “COACHING WORLD”.
When I stepped out of my home office, the strength and confidence I felt while coaching and interacting with my coaching community seemed to fade away. I felt small, as if I had to shrink myself to fit back into my life. There wasn’t enough room for the strong woman I was becoming, and I felt like I was suffocating.
I was stuck and knew I couldn’t continue to grow as a woman and coach until I made the hardest and scariest decision of my life. I had to choose myself and my happiness over keeping everyone else happy by staying in my marriage.
FIRST I HAD TO FREE MYSELF FROM THE WEB OF SHAME I WAS ENTANGLED IN.
I was ashamed that I’d stayed in a marriage that had made me feel small. I was ashamed that, after being told I was wrong for so long, I’d lost the ability to distinguish my own truth about what was happening to me in my marriage. I was ashamed that I didn’t think I could manage life on my own. I kept my shame and this part of myself hidden for a very long time.
“Shame hates it when we reach out and tell our story. It hates having words wrapped around it - it can’t survive being shared. Shame loves secrecy. When we bury our story, the shame metastasizes.” - Brene Brown
With the support of my own coach and the close friends I made during my life coach training, I began talking about my marriage and how it made me feel. I began talking about my fear of putting myself and my happiness first and living on my own. I trusted them to hear my story without judgement and without pressuring me to do anything until I was ready.
The more I shared, the more my web of shame started to dissolve and I began to trust my own truth about my marriage and that I knew what was right for me. Four years after my husband said those words that shattered me, I left my marriage of 30 years.
SO MANY TIMES I’VE ASKED MYSELF…
”What if I’d listened to my intuition and not agreed to reconcile? Why did it take me 4 years to break free of my fear of speaking my truth? Why did it take me 4 years to finally listen to, trust and following what my intuition was telling me?”
I CAN HEAR MY SOUL WHISPER…”IT WAS YOUR PATH.”
I had to learn what it felt like to hear, trust and follow my intuition over the fear I felt in a marriage where being fully me, speaking my truth and asking for what I needed was incredibly scary.
I had to learn what it felt like to heal the parts of me that got me into my marriage and the shame from staying in it for so long.
I had to learn what it felt like to decide that I wasn’t going to stay small and quiet any longer and how terrifying is was to tell my husband I was leaving our marriage.
I was meant to take every step along this this path so I can help other women just like myself; women who’re ignoring their intuition in order to stay in an unhappy life where they feel small and without a voice.
I’ve been there…I know the deep unhappiness, pain, fear, hopelessness and shame that comes from living that life. I also know how f’ing scary it is to take the first step and ask for help.
I also know that taking the first step can lead to an amazing life where you feel free and safe to be you.
The unknown can be both scary and wonderful.